Valentine’s Day is coming closer. Do you love it? Do you dread it? Are you kind of meh about the whole thing?

I’m a longstanding member of club ‘meh’.

Sure, I like chocolates and flowers as much as the next person, but if it isn’t accompanied by something personal and meaningful, it fails to really move me.

But this year I don’t want to (just) be on the receiving end.

I want to share my love for the people around me in a meaningful and creative way.

Here's how...

I was talking with my sister Ellie about the stresses of motherhood and a creative person's drive to create.

While Ellie loves sewing, I'm more of a painter but we both agreed that energy seems to come as soon as we're creating. No matter how tired, it's always a happy headspace that's more powerful than coffee and feels more nourishing than kale.

Painting offers a moment to process thoughts and be something other than a mother. Don't get me wrong, I love being a mom but it can get overwhelming. Just like I remember when I was single having to do everything myself also felt overwhelming.

I have tried so many different planners and organizers to bring order into my days. I would set  deadlines for myself. I tried desperately to plan my day according to the pre-printed times in my planners. 

I WILL submit the proposal by 9am. I WILL finish that commission by Friday. I WILL meal-prep for the entire month.

As if mere willpower would magically free up time in my day and force my two young boys to play peacefully and independently when I needed them to.

Strangely enough my daily schedule never fit into what I had so rigidly planned for myself and I ended up frustrated instead.